i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
