Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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