i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
