Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
