I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
