so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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