So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
