I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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