Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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