she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
