You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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