sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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