i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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