hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
