I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize