He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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