We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
