I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
