i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
