Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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