i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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