Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
