I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
