wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We were destined to go to rehab together
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
