I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
