alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
