My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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