god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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