pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
