at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Someone signed my nipple.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
