Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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