The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
