took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
