sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
