well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
