you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
