what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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