i barfeds in our rink
no you cant smoke seaweed
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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