Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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