It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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