Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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