he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
and she was petting her beer can
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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