I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
