You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
