I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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