Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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