Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
