seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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