Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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