and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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