i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
