She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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