Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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