I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
