you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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