Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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