I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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