i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just gargled with NyQuil
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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