the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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