Just fell off a train. Bad.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
soo... how was my night?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
