I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
