sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
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Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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