I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
