It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
