People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
