im drinking this country out of the recession.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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