I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
