happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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